


I Will Become Anyone  (As Long As You Love Me)

by foam_memory



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Angst with a Happy Ending, First Love, Fluff and Angst, Human Jensen, Kind Jensen, Love Confessions, M/M, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Not a dark fic, Pining Jared, Shapeshifter Jared, Shy Jared, Teen Romance, Unrequited Love, You can't even imagine how kind he is, mirror kink, seriously
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-30
Updated: 2018-04-30
Packaged: 2019-04-30 09:10:29
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,986
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14493639
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/foam_memory/pseuds/foam_memory
Summary: Jared is a shapeshifter, and Jensen is the handsome boy he has a crush on





	I Will Become Anyone  (As Long As You Love Me)

**Author's Note:**

> Just a cute, sweet love story. You don't need to worry about anything! :3  
> And thank you so much @doilycoffin <33!!! How can I be this lucky to meet a Beta and friend like you? YOU ARE THE BEST!!❤❤
> 
> I know I have so many unfinished stories...but it suddenly occured to me this one is much shorter. I believe I can finish this fic in three chapters, at most four. 
> 
> All the kudos and comments are welcomed. Do you like the idea of a shy shapeshifter Jared? You know, a shapeshifter's ability is really interesting when it comes to a love story... ;) Let me know what's on your mind! 
> 
> Anyway, enjoy!

 

That boy was the very first person Jared knew when he transferred to this school.

It was not like he actually _knew_ him. In fact, Jared never dared to initiate a conversation until other people spoke to him first. He would plaster a big smile on his face when others talked to him, wishing the smile could let them know he was friendly and harmless, so people wouldn’t hate him. But the truth was, nobody wanted to chat with him, because Jared was clumsy and always nervous. Every day, he just sat alone in the last row of the class with his head down, never looking anyone in the eye, including teachers. He knew that everyone already thought of him as the weird, tall kid, so he didn’t want to give people a reason to hate him even more.

And the reason why Jared knew that boy was just because of one sentence the teacher said to him on his first day of school: “How about sitting next to Jensen, Jared? That would be nice.”

This happened immediately after he introduced himself in front of the whole class. When he talked, Jared blinked frantically, eyeing his classmates from left to right, and then right to left. _Please don’t hate me like the kids in other schools,_ he said to himself afterwards, with his left hand tightly grasped around his upper right arm, trembling slightly.

His eyes followed the teacher’s hand and found the boy named Jensen. Jensen was sitting beside the window at the last row of the class, raising his hand to show his position to Jared. Jared could see how sunlight shone on Jensen’s dark brown hair like a crown, and his eyes were green as jade. The boy looked directly into Jared’s eyes, and smiled.

Jared heard himself taking a long, deep breath.

He immediately lowered his head and went to the seat the teacher instructed, attempting to wade through the many bags and belongs strewn on the floor. Jared shrank himself as small as he could, and apologized repeatedly whenever his body accidently touched something that didn’t belong to him. His face was red because of embarrassment and the image of those eyes haunting in his mind.

He kept his head low the whole time and sat in his chair. _Jensen,_ Jared mused, as he opened his bag to find textbooks. _Jensen, Jensen_ , he thought, and thought again as he put his notebook on the desk. _Jensen_ , he said in his head.

 _Stop it,_ he told his brain.

Through the whole class, Jared never turned his head to see the boy, not even once.

 

***

 

From Jared’s experience, every school was the same, and this one was not an exception. Students were similar, too. When they started losing interest in the new guy, they just returned to their own social circle and forgot Jared. Jared was never invited to join any party or club after the first or second week, and later on, he would even be bullied and laughed at.

His grades were also forgettable compared to the rest of his classmates, but that was due to another reason. Jared was smart, and perhaps the only advantage he had was doing his homework well, but he had to be normal and ordinary. _Do not make humans notice you. Do not arouse humans’ interests. Do not make an impression on anybody. Stay away from human. Stay Invisible. Do the things most people do. When people laugh, you laugh. When people cry, you cry._ Jared always remembered his mom’s warning. He was a good kid, so he followed his mom’s rules, never complained.

He was always a good kid. Although the apartment his father rented was horrible and they were always short of decent food and clothes, he never said anything. He knew how he looked outside: unsuitable clothes, messy hair, and dirty as hell. That’s because he couldn’t always find clothes to fit him at thrift stores, and the shower in his tiny, terrible apartment was always broken for no discernible reason. If it was a rainy day, he could even be really smelly because of how damp everything could be, making other people frown and eye him when they happened to be near him. But he never said anything. He knew his father was trying his best. Ever since his mother and sister were killed by hunters with silver bullets, his father was working as hard as he could to keep them alive. Jared could only imagine how hard it would be to support your entire family, when you became the only adult in it.

Then again, their budget was sometimes too tight for them to be able to afford a place, forcing them to retreat to their lair in the sewers, so even a terrible apartment was better than that alternative.

Sometimes Jared wondered why his dad still insisted that he and his brother Joshua must finish high school under their circumstances, when their species typically lived outside of human society. Nevertheless, his father didn’t allow them to help him. _You can’t live in the sewers forever. In this society, living means money. Hell, whatever you do means money. You need to get a decent job to earn money, and that means you must have at least a GED. No, Jared, you must get it like everyone else. We’re not monsters. We’re just different._

Jared didn’t know how his father could see them as “just different,” because in his view, they _were_ monsters. _He was a monster._ A sad, pathetic, and ridiculous monster. 

Like right now, he came to the dining hall after his lunch period because he didn’t want to be surrounded by humans. He was alone, as always, and felt relieved when he found only a few people were there. He sat in the corner, taking the paper lunch box out of the bottom of his bag. The sandwich Josh had prepared for him in the box was not squashed today, so Jared counted it as a win.

He was about to start eating when he suddenly heard the sound of chattering people enter the hall. Automatically, he lifted his head to see them and unexpectedly caught a glimpse of Jensen. Jared froze as his eyes followed him. The group of students took up a huge table in the middle of the hall and Jensen sat among them, chatting and laughing. Jensen opened his plastic lunch box as he excitedly said something to another person, and nodded when the other one talked back.

Jared suddenly didn’t feel like eating anything, and his mouth felt dry.

He hoped Jensen didn’t see him. Wait, perhaps Jensen didn’t remember him at all, since they only share one class this semester. That class was English, and Jensen sat at his left. Jensen liked biting the cap of his pen when he listened to the teacher and took notes. _That was not a good habit_ , Jared thought in his head, and felt immediately ashamed for invading Jensen’s privacy, if that could be considered privacy at all…Jared hid himself in the corner and glanced at the group. No one seemed to notice him; Jared felt safe and at the same time a little bit disappointed.

“I mean…come on! Loki is the best. My heart always belongs to Loki…”

“What? That’s insane. Can’t you see how skinny he is? If he played football, I could beat him in one minute…”

“Team Cap, definitely! No, no, no, no, you straight people never get it. It’s not because-”

“Gaaaaay! Can we stop being drooling nerds and act like normal people? Hey, did anybody see the football game last night…”

The teenagers continued to chat and Jared didn’t know what they were talking about, but he perhaps had listened to something like this before while accidentally eavesdrpping. Is it a movie? Or a cartoon? Probably not a book. He had seen posters hanging everywhere in the city.

Suddenly, Jared caught a voice. “I have no idea what you’re talking about, you stupid nerd. Batman is the only true hero ever, period.” That’s Jensen. He waved his hands and made a fake groaning sound. When other people retorted something back, he laughed so hard that he almost choked. Jared zoned out when he saw the smile on Jensen face.

And then, Jared fled. He finished the sandwich as fast as he could and ran away.

 

***

 

Jared broke his little old piggy bank.

He counted the coins inside again and again, and felt extremely stupid all the while. _I just want to be able to understand pop culture_ , he told to himself as he deposited the small mountain of coins into his pocket. _All teenagers would do this, so it’s a normal thing to do. It’s worthwhile to spend all the money I saved on this._

He went to a DVD shop and it took him an hour of walking to get there. He almost had a small panic attack when he found there were so many things about Batman. Movies, comic books, cartoons, and toys. They were everywhere and Jared didn’t know where to start. He widened his hazel puppy dog eyes in front of one shelf and felt like an idiot.

Eventually, a female shop assistant helped him to pick the most important and famous ones to borrow. When he paid the bill, he poured the flood of coins on the counter, causing the assistant to jump. She examined his face with an amused smile, and Jared was so embarrassed that he wanted to become literally invisible. His face flushed bright red, stuttering some excuses that even he didn’t believe, but fortunately, the assistant didn’t say anything.

He rushed home with a bag of borrowed movies in his hand. He hid in the room he and Josh shared and finished all of them in one weekend. He was so absorbed in it that he even missed his dad called him three times.

 _Batman is the best,_ he finally concluded. _He is a good guy, and brave. His outfit is so cool. And…_

He wished he were brave enough to tell Jensen he liked Batman as well, so they would have something in common. 

 

***

 

Jensen gave him a piece of candy the next time they had class together.

And he gave anyone else sitting beside him a candy, too.

Everyone said thank you, so Jared also thanked him. _When people do something, you do it as well,_ Mom’s voice rang in his head, but he couldn’t control the temperature of his face. Before Jared noticed, he was blushing, so he hid his face and secretly wanted to die at the moment.

He ate the candy, and it’s sweet. So sweet, it made Jared want to cry.

Through the whole class, Jared couldn’t pay attention to whatever the teacher was teaching. He felt extremely restless and nervous, not knowing what to do or how to act. He opened his notebook and pretended he was taking notes, but actually, he just hastily drew the symbol of Batman again and again. He dreamed about showing this to Jensen and seeing the smile on his face after Jensen realized Jared liked Batman as well. He hoped he could see Jensen’s smile and the shining spark in his green eyes again. Jared didn’t know what’s wrong with him, because he never had this kind of feeling before, the feeling of thinking about somebody all the time. Jared felt ashamed as well as terrified and wished he could quickly go back to normal. Was it because he was a teenager now and it’s an inevitable process for a young shapeshifter to feel this way? Was the feeling Jared felt for Jensen because of the compulsion to eat a human? Like werewolves? But mom said they didn’t eat humans. Mom promised that shapeshifters never ate humans.

But he wanted him, he wanted Jensen so bad. He wanted to have him, claim him, and hide him from anyone else, forever.

There were so many things Jared wanted to talk about with Jensen. He wanted to tell Jensen it was not a good habit to chew on his pen, wanted to tell Jensen he should eat food carefully so he wouldn’t choke on it, wanted to tell Jensen he loved the taste of the candy he gave to him…and there was more, a lot of more things he wanted to talk about with him, as long as Jensen was willing to listen.

“Hmm? You want another one?” Jensen suddenly said, and it took Jared several seconds to realize that he was staring at Jensen for the last ten minutes and had been caught. Before he could think of anything to say, Jared choked.

“Here,” Jensen peeked at the teacher and threw another candy on Jared’s desk. He was smiling and gave Jared a wink. “Enjoy.”

Jared was sweating and blushing. How could he be stupid enough to stare at Jensen like that? It was not because he wanted to, he just, he just…… _Oh God, please don’t think too much of it, Jensen. I’ll never eat you, I promise._ Jared thought furiously in his head, like Jensen could hear what he was thinking. _Please don’t be afraid of me and hate me like everyone else._

He didn’t eat the candy this time. Instead, he brought it home, and hid it in his tiny treasure box.

 _This one was only for me,_ he thought.

 

***

 

Jared had a terrible dream.

When he woke up, all Jared wanted to do was say sorry to everyone. His face was so hot it burnt. He curled himself in his half of the bed, so Josh on the other side wouldn’t feel anything weird happening, wouldn’t know what kind of dream Jared just had. The shame was so strong that he could almost taste it in his mouth. Jared believed he must have been in the process of transforming into another creature, like a werewolf or a vampire. If not, how could he dream about something like that, hurting a human?

He let his parents down, especially his dearest mother.

He wanted to hurt a human. The more Jared thought about it, the more he felt sorry and guilty. He blinked away the tears in his eyes and took a shaky breath. He wanted to hurt Jensen, just because he had so many friends and was so kind. He and Jensen were not even the same species, but Jared wanted to be part of his life and became something important. In his dream, he prayed Jensen would abandon all of his friends for him, and prayed that next time Jensen’s candy would only be given to him. In that awful dream, Jared tightly hugged Jensen and didn’t feel like letting him go no matter how much Jensen screamed. He took advantage of his height in order constrain Jensen on the spot and couldn’t stop sniffing the smell of vanilla around his neck. Jensen was struggling, groaning, but Jared didn’t want to give up.

“I-I was wondering, could we become friends?” Jared held tight to Jensen and asked. He asked endlessly, repeating the sentence anxiously. “I swear I’ll make you feel happy. You won’t get bored with me. I’ll learn a lot of things, and I can do whatever you want, so please…please be my friend. Can I be your friend?”

“Please, I’m begging you. Let me be your friend. I-I promise I’ll be good, please, please...”

Jensen was pushing him away in vain, and Jared was not going to stop. He could try again and again until Jensen agreed. Jensen would agree, right?

Then, he saw his mother’s angry face.

“STAY AWAY FROM HUMANS!!” He heard his mother shout, “They will find out what you are, then YOU WILL DIE! Why don’t you listen to me? Why can’t you learn this lesson, Jared? Did you forget how your sister died because she didn’t believe me?! Do you want to risk your father and brother’s life? I died, Jared! I warned her so many times and still had to die for saving her!!”

 _No._ Jared didn’t know what he was denying, but he still held Jensen’s hand in his trembling grasp and couldn’t let go. _No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no…_

He woke up with a start and realized what he had dreamed about. He curled himself helplessly, feeling tears fill his eyes and spill over.

 

***

 

Due to the early arrival of his bus, Jared entered his English classroom a little earlier than usual. There were only a few people in it, and Jensen was one of them. He was deeply engrossed in the paper in front of him, so Jared guessed that was the homework required to hand in today.

Jared looked at him from the doorway for a few seconds before going to his seat with his head low. He didn’t want to disturb Jensen with any sound, so Jared did everything carefully. He almost did it. Almost.

Jared put his bag cautiously on the desk, and that was exactly the time when his stupid water bottle in the side pocket of his schoolbag accidently dropped. Jared tried to save it but failed, and the loud noise of the bottle dropping on the ground made him flinch. He gritted his teeth and nervously looked around, hoping he didn’t cause any disturbance. Why was he always so clumsy? He couldn’t even stop his water bottle from falling. Why didn’t he notice it in the first place?

To his relief, other people didn’t seem to care. Jared sighed and turned around to pick up his bottle, only to find it was not there anymore. Instead, there was a wattle bottle in Jensen’s hand, and right now, he was handing it to Jared with a polite smile, eyes directly looking into Jared. Jared was amazed by how green Jensen’s eyes could be and how enticing they are. Before he registered anything, his body reacted first. He took the bottle and whispered a small thank you as he sat in the chair and opened his bag. Jared gazed at the inside of his schoolbag like there is something funny in it, and he refused to see what Jensen was doing. His whole body was tense, and his face could not be redder.

When there was nothing happened, Jared relaxed a little bit, but suddenly he heard a voice. “Jared,” he heard the voice say, and Jared recognized it as Jensen’s. Jared froze. “You’re Jared, right? I remember our teacher said it on the first day you transferred to here.”

Jensen remembered him. Jared’s heart missed a beat, and he couldn’t prevent himself from looking at Jensen. Jared hesitated before looking Jensen in the eye. Under those green eyes, Jared was immediately fully aware of how dirty his clothes were and how messy his hair looked. He was like an ugly clown in front of the noble king. Jared flinched and didn’t know what to do, but he managed to nod as he confirmed that Jensen was right about everything.

“Weird, huh? How many weeks ago was that? We still don’t know each other. How could that happen?” Jensen chuckled. His voice was gentle and causal, like he was chatting with someone the same as him, a decent human. Jared was afraid of doing anything when he saw Jensen offered a hand to Jared to shake. “I’m Jensen, nice to meet you.”

Jared stared at that hand, and it occurred to him that he should say something back. Suddenly, Jared was dizzy and he couldn’t breathe. How could he…he couldn’t do this, he definitely couldn’t do this. Jared wanted to run, to disappear, and to not even exist. He wanted to be anywhere else, anywhere but this place, the place where Jensen was at as well. If Jensen was going to talk to him before class, Jared didn’t think he would dare to attend the class next time. He needed to skip it and hide somewhere, until Jensen forgot everything about him. 

“I’m Jared,” Jared blurted, and instantly realized Jensen had just said he knew his name, which made Jared even more anxious. Jensen grinned, eyes understanding and patient. “I mean, nice to meet you, too,” Jared said and shook Jensen’s hand, and he retracted his hand as soon as possible. He buried himself in his schoolbag and even he wasn’t sure what he was looking for.

Jensen laughed softly. “You’re adorable,” he said, and Jared’s brain completely shut down. He just stayed right here, only blinking his eyes. “Well, although I really want to know more about you, I have to finish this silly homework first if I want to pass the class. Perhaps next time, Jared.”

 _You’re adorable. You’re adorable. You’re adorable._ Jensen _’_ s voice circled in Jared’s head. Jared didn’t know how to react to this description.

 _You’re the one who’s adorable, no, you’re handsome, so handsome._ Jared wanted to tell him. _You’re pretty, beautiful, kind, gentle, and every other compliment I could possibly think of. You’re like an angel. I know you have some bad habits, but I don’t care even a little bit._

But instead, he eyed Jensen’s paper and whispered: “…Is there anything I can help you with?”

 _Stay away from humans._ He thought about what his mom said to him and felt dizzy.

 

***

This was not sick.

Jared was thinking about it all day, after helping Jensen finish his homework. Jensen was a very funny and easy-going guy. Jared still didn’t exchange a lot of words with him, but it was enough for Jared to like him even more. Jared couldn’t stop thinking about him or get Jensen out of his head. Whatever he was doing, he thought about Jensen, about his smile, his voice, the temperature of his hand…usually, he could repress it so it didn’t affect his daily life, but today, Jared was officially gone.

Though school was over and he was alone at home, he wanted to see Jensen. He didn’t know Jensen’s phone number, didn’t know where he lived, didn’t know anything, but he wanted to see him. He wanted it so bad, making Jared believe if he ever took drugs, this would be exactly what he felt when he couldn’t get his fix. He was desperate and anxious, wanting to see Jensen even if it was only a glimpse from a distance.

Knowing there was a way to make it come true wasn’t helping at all. His parents strictly prohibited any member of their family from using the power of a shapeshifter to do anything, as it was easy for hunters to trace the skin they shed. It was a way to protect all the people in this small, pathetic family. However, the strong impulses to see Jensen made Jared hesitate. He could see him, just after a few minutes. He could see the face of Jensen, hear the voice of him, and even get the memory of…no, Jared wouldn’t go that far.

 _It’s okay. If I shed the skin in the bathroom, I could burn it later. No one will know about it._ Jared comforted himself and eventually believed it. He went to the bathroom to change himself. Just a minute and a handful of seconds later, he could see that handsome, gorgeous…

Now, it was “Jensen” standing in front of the mirror. He seemed to be a little scared, but he was Jensen, from head to toe.

“Jensen” smiled, and slowly caressed the image on the mirror. His body was a little bit trembling, but he looked good, looked perfect, like an angel.

It was at that time when Jared finally realized this feeling curling in his heart was not because he was a monster, but because of that fact that he had a crush on this handsome, kind person.

He was sick, Jared knew.  

 

 


End file.
